On Sunday Chanie the kids and I went to the home of a student's family for a BBQ. Present were also friends of the family, including their community's Chabad Rabbi and his family, he is a an old friend of mine. Over great food, great weather and in an enormous Westchester backyard we got to know each other and enjoyed a lovely afternoon together.

Let me introduce you to one of the people I met there, his name is John. John is in his late fifties (I assume). About forty years ago, after attending a class on Jewish philosophy and history at his college campus' Hillel, he decided to travel on an odyssey that eventually led him to convert to Judaism. John had no prior contact with Jews and was not in a relationship with any Jews. Since then he has been an active member in his local Jewish community, and is knowledgeable in Judaism and Jewish history. I found him fascinating and spent quite some time listening to and conversing with him. 

During our conversation I asked him "What was your hardest adjustment after converting?" Mind you he converted Orthodox, which means it comes with a lot of lifestyle changing obligations. Expecting to hear something along the lines of "changing my diet to kosher" or "not being able to watch the game on Saturday," I was completely caught by surprise when he told me that putting on Teffilin was the hardest thing for him to adjust to. 

My reaction was "wow." I never considered putting on Tefillin as such a big deal. Before I even began putting on Tefiilin myself, at the age of 12 years and 10 months, I would encourage others to put them on arguing, "It will only take two minutes." Sometimes, trying to convince a reluctant client, I would even make it simpler and claim to be able to do it in 45 seconds, start to finish. Many conceded, while some resisted. I never really understood why someone would resist, I was only asking for 45 seconds of his time. Personally I have been putting them on for 21 years and never considered it a burden. Equally I have been keeping kosher and celebrating Shabbat my entire life, yet I completely understand the burden it imposes on its adherents and why some would resist it. 

I asked John to explain himself. Matter-of-factly he said, "When I would put on tefillin I felt bound, I was now tied into it (Judaism), and that was too overwhelming." 

His response elated and embarrassed me. The directness and simplicity of it was extraordinary. The fact that it never occurred to me, after putting on tefillin for over 21 years, was embarrassing. 

John also helped me understand why beginning in 1967 the Lubavitcher Rebbe, of blessed memory, encouraged his followers, me being among them, to offer every Jewish person they encounter to put on tefillin. Even if it was only for 45 seconds.

Thank you John. I don't think you realize how profound your response was to me.